Aaha Jokes

Dumbest servant

2008-12-04T08:20:00.000-08:00

A servant enters in the room and his master whispers to his friend, "This is the dumbest servant in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

That man puts a dollar in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the servant over and asks, "Which do you want?"

The servant takes the quarters and leaves the room.

"What did I tell you?" said the man. "That servant never learns!"

Later, when the friend leaves, he sees the same boy coming out of the ice cream store.

"Hey, wait! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar?"

The servant licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!

10 Signs : You are an Internet Geek

2008-12-04T08:03:00.001-08:00

10. Instead of calling you, your spouse sends e-mail to dinner tonight.

9. You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you.

8. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address.

7. You're amazed to find out spam is a food.

6. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"

5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.

4. You introduce your wife as "my lady@home.wife" and refer to your children as "client applications".

3. At social functions you introduce your husband as "my domain server".

2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, "I feel so colon-right parentheses!"

And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek:

1. Two Words: "One Pizza"

I saw your thumb in my soup !

2008-12-03T12:30:00.000-08:00

Customer: Excuse me, but I saw your thumb in my soup when you were carrying it.
Waitress: Oh, that's ok. The soup isn't hot.

Sir, you are a taxi.

2008-12-03T12:25:00.000-08:00

Santa : Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
Banta : Yes sir, You are a taxi.

I hate to see old ladies standing.

2008-12-03T12:14:00.000-08:00

On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you ill?" he asked.
"No, I'm ok. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."

This is the only way to marry your daughter!

2008-12-02T11:43:00.000-08:00

Mr. Lincon : So Steve, you want to become my son-in-law ?

Steve : Not really sir, but this is the only way to marry your daughter!

Do you want to hear a dirty joke ?

2008-12-01T11:36:00.000-08:00

Santa: Do you want to hear a dirty joke ?
Banta: Ok.
Santa: A white horse fell in the mud.

Never put 'is' after an "I".

2008-11-28T11:19:00.000-08:00

Teacher : Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Johny : I is the....
Teacher : Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Johny : OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease ?

2008-11-21T11:07:00.000-08:00

Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease ?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a Sheep!"

We’ve got such a clever dog !

2008-11-11T10:59:00.000-08:00

A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, “We’ve got such a clever dog, He brings in the daily newspapers every morning.”

Husband : “Well, lots of dogs can do that.”

The wife responded : “But we’ve never subscribed to any!”

Various Marketing Lessons

2008-11-03T10:53:00.000-08:00

Various Marketing Lessons :-

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
- That's Telemarketing

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's Public Relations

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: You are very rich! Can you marry! me?" - That's Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That's Customer Feedback

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's demand and supply gap

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your market share

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction for entering new markets

Husband & wife are like liver and kidney !

2008-10-23T10:41:00.000-07:00

Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife kidney.

If liver fails, kidney fails.

If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

That's ok, but who will marry us !!

2008-10-13T10:22:00.000-07:00

Girl : Now it is the time, we should marry.

Boy : That's ok, but who will marry us !!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away !

2008-10-03T10:20:00.000-07:00

A Doctor and A Fool loved same girl.

Fool started giving an apple to the girl everyday.

Doctor asked : WHY ??

Fool : An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Have you ever seen an owl ?

2008-09-03T10:36:00.000-07:00

(Angry) Boss : Have you ever seen an owl ?

Employee : (looking down) No Sir...

Boss : Don't look down. Look at me.